überjëw

I should get a hologram to do my job.

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You want to come with me to the gastroentorologist? I have a guy.

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Did you know you’re supposed to tip some sommeliers 10-20 dollars?
I’ll just pull up my app! No need to waste 20 bucks.

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Alright I’m out. I got a bus to catch.

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You know the kleenex from the office are free. I take them home.

What can you do to decrease my bill?

I have to pay 20 dollars extra for that? That’s a lot of money.

Hi I made an order to the store the other day to have it shipped to another store… I just wanted to know if it’s arrived yet. … It hasn’t? Ughhhhhhh

überjëw travel itinerary: cheat the American Airlines miles system by making your home a “stop” and your final destination Puerto Rico.

Uh, Evanescence is spelled wrong on the press release.